Scared for Survivals Sake

Our brains are pretty awesome.  So many of us take them for granted and treat them poorly.  Our brains are the number one reason we are still alive.  So thank and be kind to your brain.

I'm sure so many of you remember the days as a child when our friends were leaping from boulder to boulder and when it was your turn, you hesitated.  You were frozen.  You didn't want to jump.  Fear.  Then the taunting began.   Scaredy Cat, momma's boy, and wuss are some pretty common terms used to describe your frightened "friend".  These taunts can be carried with us our entire lives.

A few days ago I was hiking with a friend and rather than taking the trail, we were traversing several boulders.  Some of them had a significant drop-off and would have resulted in serious life altering injuries.  We are both well aware of our limitations and neither want to make a risky decision.  I got the end of a boulder with about a 12 foot drop.  There was a tree larger enough to bear hug that I wanted to cling to and slide down about 3 feet from the edge.  I was feeling good, ready and confident.  But I didn't want to break my watch, so I paused and turned it to face outward.  In that 30 seconds, something happened.  I begin to think about the consequences.  I questioned the safety of what I was about to do.  I began to feel like a failure and weak for not wanting to do what I was just about to do.  Fear.  Remember those taunts from childhood about being "afraid"?  They all came back.

Why is that many consider fear as a negative.  Fear is designed to keep us alive.  Fear is put in place to help us make safe decisions.   Being fearless is bragged about.  But in reality, being fearless could also mean being very dangerous not only for yourself but for others.

I didn't climb down that tree.  And I walked back the way I came, feeling like I let myself down.  When I got to the base of the tree and looked up, it didn't seem very far.  So I wrapped my arms around the tree, climbed up a few feet and tried to lower myself down slowly.  It was hard.  It hurt.  And I realized that my brain may have just saved me from serious injury.

We need to reframe how we teach what fear is.  Being fearful does not mean you are a "fraidy cat".  Just like being fearless is not the same thing as being careless or reckless.  Don't ever be ashamed of not jumping across those rocks, picking up that snake of unknown origin, eating those berries that you aren't sure about, or jumping off the 4th stair from the bottom.  Having a healthy realization of what the fear response is will keep you alive.  There is also a way to move forward while facing fear that is neither careless or wreckless.

But what about adrenaline.  Our brains also control that too.  And when you've got adrenaline pumping, all bets are off.  You feel super human.  But you don't want to abuse or over use this hormone either.  For example, just because I could grab ahold of that tree and slide down it when a bear is chasing me does not mean that I could or should do it when a bear isn't chasing me.  Adrenaline is powerful.

Fight or flight.  It happens every single day.  And our adrenal glands do have a shelf life.